Honourable

E believes he is an honourable man. Don’t laugh. He really does. In the meantime, the rest of us are still struggling to reconcile the person we thought E was, with the person that the evidence is beginning to prove he actually is. There was the E I thought I was with for 25 years. […]

WhatsUp?

Communication with E seems to have reached a new low recently.  It seems that he has now stopped replying to my emails.  He’s never answered a text and he refuses to speak to me, so email was pretty much the only way I could communicate with him about the kids and money.  Now he’s not responding […]

Old Normal

Watching Youngest Son watch the football the other night, made me realise two things; firstly how much has changed, secondly how little has changed, since E left us. Whilst the kids and I have experienced a seismic shift emotionally, and in terms of our family dynamic, the fact is that in terms of our environment […]

Fathers’ Day

It was Fathers’ Day on Sunday, and whilst the kids didn’t particularly lament the lack of their Dad (in fact none of them noticed  – Youngest Son only remembered because I asked him if he’d wished his Dad a Happy Father’s Day), it did make me reflect upon E’s role as a ‘father figure’. In […]

Weekend

Yesterday I went to my best friend of nearly 35 years parents’ house for a ‘goodbye’ do (she’s moving to the depths of beautiful Cornwall in a few weeks).  We met in our first year of upper school in 1983, and we have been friends ever since.  I felt quite tearful when I went to the […]

Shaman

Yesterday evening I was lucky enough to interview a Shaman for the magazine that I work for.  It was one of the most extraordinary experiences I’ve ever had.  I won’t go into detail here (I’ll save those for the article I’m writing), but one of the things that stood out about our conversation was his […]

The Secret Diary of E, aged 37 3/4* *(according to J). The Early Years: Part One

Over the last year or so loads of people have asked me what on earth was going on in E’s head.  I usually shrug, shake my head and say something along the lines of ‘unfathomable’.  But maybe, just maybe, I can guess.  Below is the first in a series of light-hearted attempts to look at […]