I had something of a ‘Saul on the road to Damascus’ moment the other day. Things are pretty good. I’m really beginning to feel that my life is mine again, and I am moving on from everything that has happened over the last six years. I’m learning to accept that it will never be fair, […]
Category: Teenagers
Control
Inevitably, my decision to hand responsibility for collecting child maintenance from E has created another problem. But, do you know what? I’m still massively glad that I did it. The main reason I’m glad is that it means I no longer have to deal with E. The reason it’s a problem is because, well, […]
Countdown
After everything we’ve been through with E, I really thought we’d seen it all. We’ve had a secret marriage, a year of no child support and mortgage defaults, a complete refusal to communicate with me, at all, about anything ever (including messages regarding his child’s mental health crisis), we’re also resigned to the fact that […]
Awake
As I explained in my last post, I finally have complete psychological freedom from E. If this were a movie, I’d have left him in a darkened forest, surrounded by gnarly old trees, twisting vines and grasping roots and, goblin like, he’d be shouting at my disappearing form that he’s still important, still relevant, can […]
Free
It’s been a weird few weeks (hence the increased blog posts). In some ways it’s been tough, because a lot of quite traumatic memories have been dragged up, but ultimately, it’s been a time that’s confirmed how far I’ve come and how much better things are for me. I’ve realised how just happy I am and […]
Witness
I haven’t written about this before because I wasn’t really sure where to start and, as it’s about religion, I was conscious that I could offend. But as we approach another Christmas (I start planning very early), it’s on my mind, and I think enough time has passed to give me some perspective. Basically, the […]
Insanity
There’s a quote that regularly does the rounds on social media. It’s usually wrongly attributed to Einstein, but it does have an air of his quirky brilliance to it: “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” By this definition, the last six years have […]
Own
I think, generally, the kids and I are now in, what I suppose could be called ‘recovery’ from everything that’s happened to us over the last five years. We’re in a pretty calm place these days and, although, for me, there are clouds on the horizon in the shape of the threat of E withdrawing […]
Shoes
Now things have quietened down, I’m slowly beginning to try to process and make sense of everything that’s happened over the last four years or so. I’ve found I have very little specific memory of last year, especially last summer. It’s all a blur – losing my Mum, agreeing to let E have what he […]
Thestrals
“The only people who can see thestrals,” she said, “are people who have seen death.”Harry Potter and The Order Of The Phoenix – JK Rowling The day after my Mum died Oldest Son gave me a hug and said quietly: “you can see thestrals now”. In those five words Oldest Son encapsulated the most profound […]
He-total: Life without Ex 