Free

It’s been a weird few weeks (hence the increased blog posts).  In some ways it’s been tough, because a lot of quite traumatic memories have been dragged up, but ultimately, it’s been a time that’s confirmed how far I’ve come and how much better things are for me.  I’ve realised how just happy I am and […]

Witness

I haven’t written about this before because I wasn’t really sure where to start and, as it’s about religion, I was conscious that I could offend. But as we approach another Christmas (I start planning very early), it’s on my mind, and I think enough time has passed to give me some perspective. Basically, the […]

Shoes

Now things have quietened down, I’m slowly beginning to try to process and make sense of everything that’s happened over the last four years or so.  I’ve found I have very little specific memory of last year, especially last summer.  It’s all a blur  – losing my Mum, agreeing to let E have what he […]

July

July 2020 was a month in which everything in my life changed.  By the end of July, I had moved to a new house, and started a whole new life.  By the end of July, my priorities had shifted forever.  By the end of July, my beautiful Mum, my anchor, my safety, the person my […]

Over

‘Over it’ is a funny term.  It’s kind of an expectation.  A thing that you need to do in order to be able to move on.  It’s supposed to be a liberation.  It can also be a pressure – a mountain to climb, or at least to prove that you’ve climbed When E and I […]

Pandemic

We’re all now aware of  and experiencing the effects of the Covid 19 pandemic, but one thing that we’re increasingly warned of these days is another growing, but silent, problem that’s slowly, but surely creeping upon us as a result of the lockdowns, the social deprivations and the changes to our daily routines – a […]

Child

It was inevitable I suppose.  It was what I’d been expecting since I found out that E and P had married.  I expected it to feel like a punch to the guts.  But when I was told that E and P were expecting a baby, I just laughed. The circumstances under which I found out, […]

Grandson

In the midst of the isolation of lockdown and the frustration of E’s complete non communication, there has been some amazing news. I am now a Grandma! My Grandson (who is, of course, absolutely beautiful, in fact, I’m pretty sure he’s the most beautiful baby born in the world EVER) was born on 4th April, […]

Wall

They say in marathon running that there is a point (usually at around 2/3 of the way through) where you ‘hit the wall’ and that in order to complete it you need to keep running – runners do it by pacing themselves, taking on nutrition and making a huge mental effort – mind over matter. […]