Lowering the bar

Oldest Daughter once said with a sad sigh: “just when I think Dad can’t lower the bar anymore, he manages to crawl under it”. Since she said this, he’s managed to crawl under a fair few more of his lowered bars. In fact, I could have been forgiven for thinking his bar was finally at […]

MP

  So. I wrote a letter to my MP… Hi Nadine and Steve I’m one of Nadine’s constituents, but I’m also writing to Steve because I know he has taken an interest in this issue. I really need some help with the CMS. I was with my partner, who I met at University for 25 […]

Wall

They say in marathon running that there is a point (usually at around 2/3 of the way through) where you ‘hit the wall’ and that in order to complete it you need to keep running – runners do it by pacing themselves, taking on nutrition and making a huge mental effort – mind over matter. […]

An open letter to E

Dear E I’m not sure why I’m writing this.  I don’t think it will achieve anything.  In fact, if anything, it will feed into whatever narrative you’ve created to justify your behaviour and make you the hero of your story (or the victim of mine). I spent 25 years listening to you describe the people […]

Court

28th October 2019.  My 50th birthday.  I like birthdays.  Especially mine.  No matter how old I get, I always get that happy feeling on the morning of my birthday – a feeling that nice things will happen, there will be cake, and friends and good stuff.  As a result, I’ve had some memorable birthdays.  When […]

Tired

Apologies, in advance, for this post.  I usually try to keep my posts upbeat, but I must admit I have been struggling recently.  Most days I can pick myself up and get on with things (my daily mantra is ‘just keep going’), but recently there have been more and more days when I just want […]

Anger

As I’ve watched E deliberately plunge me into an increasingly unmanageable financial situation over the last year or so my feelings have ranged from an initial stunned shock, through helplessness, bewilderment, disbelief, incredulity, hurt, irritation and, I guess inevitably, finally, anger. I’m angry with myself for my stupidity in thinking that E was a decent […]

Betrayal

I have thought long and hard about sharing this publicly, but I decided to post it because it was something that I found deeply upsetting and I guess, if nothing else, it serves as a cautionary tale re what we say on social media. I have never posted anything about E, or what’s happened with […]

Plate

It’s funny how metaphorical cups overflowing are seen as good, yet metaphorical plates being overloaded are undoubtedly bad.  Until recently, perhaps thinking more in terms of barbecues than metaphors, I’d rather have risked trying to balance an overloaded plate (potential to make it to my destination without dropping anything and then lots of nice stuff […]

Groundhog Day

I now have a court date – in either a beautiful stroke of irony, or a perfect example of sod’s law, it’s been fixed for my 50th birthday.   I guess, it will mark a new beginning, and a new freedom from E, whatever the court decides to do. However, my birthday is at the […]