I had something of a ‘Saul on the road to Damascus’ moment the other day. Things are pretty good. I’m really beginning to feel that my life is mine again, and I am moving on from everything that has happened over the last six years. I’m learning to accept that it will never be fair, […]
Tag: mentalhealth
Free
It’s been a weird few weeks (hence the increased blog posts). In some ways it’s been tough, because a lot of quite traumatic memories have been dragged up, but ultimately, it’s been a time that’s confirmed how far I’ve come and how much better things are for me. I’ve realised how just happy I am and […]
Over
‘Over it’ is a funny term. It’s kind of an expectation. A thing that you need to do in order to be able to move on. It’s supposed to be a liberation. It can also be a pressure – a mountain to climb, or at least to prove that you’ve climbed When E and I […]
Pandemic
We’re all now aware of and experiencing the effects of the Covid 19 pandemic, but one thing that we’re increasingly warned of these days is another growing, but silent, problem that’s slowly, but surely creeping upon us as a result of the lockdowns, the social deprivations and the changes to our daily routines – a […]
Not Waving
I saw a picture on Facebook the other day. It was called ‘the two faces of depression’ and showed one face showing too much emotion and one face showing none at all. Whilst it obviously missed a lot of important stuff about depression, it rang a bell with me. Fortunately, most of the time, my […]
Losing
When your partner leaves you for another woman, you’re inevitably seen as the ‘loser’. No matter how many people tell you that you’re ‘better off without him’ or that he’s ‘made a mistake he’ll regret’, that it’s ‘his loss’, or even that his new relationship ‘will never last’, the simple fact of the matter is that, […]
Stubborn
I found out I was pregnant with Youngest Daughter on 10th September 2001. The next day, as I watched those planes slam into the twin towers, and consoled Oldest Daughter who was just staring at the TV saying ‘Mummy, a Bad Thing, has happened’, I wondered what kind of a world I was bringing a […]
Shaman
Yesterday evening I was lucky enough to interview a Shaman for the magazine that I work for. It was one of the most extraordinary experiences I’ve ever had. I won’t go into detail here (I’ll save those for the article I’m writing), but one of the things that stood out about our conversation was his […]
Peace
I noticed today that I started this blog on 19th February 2018. By sheer coincidence this was the 10th anniversary of the day that I found out about E’s first affair. I didn’t deliberately choose the date, but it now seems strangely serendipitous that the date that everything started to fall apart ten years ago, […]
Soft Focus
The picture Youngest Son had found was E’s updated WhatsApp profile picture. It was a wedding photograph. It’s a sideways on shot of P (in one of her two wedding dresses), puckering up to E in some sort of tropical cabana. You can’t really see their faces, it’s all soft focus and gentle waves and […]
He-total: Life without Ex 