MP

  So. I wrote a letter to my MP… Hi Nadine and Steve I’m one of Nadine’s constituents, but I’m also writing to Steve because I know he has taken an interest in this issue. I really need some help with the CMS. I was with my partner, who I met at University for 25 […]

Not Waving

I saw a picture on Facebook the other day.  It was called ‘the two faces of depression’ and showed one face showing too much emotion and one face showing none at all.  Whilst it obviously missed a lot of important stuff about depression, it rang a bell with me. Fortunately, most of the time, my […]

Losing

When your partner leaves you for another woman, you’re inevitably seen as the ‘loser’. No matter how many people tell you that you’re ‘better off without him’ or that he’s ‘made a mistake he’ll regret’, that it’s ‘his loss’, or even that his new relationship ‘will never last’, the simple fact of the matter is that, […]

Stubborn

I found out I was pregnant with Youngest Daughter on 10th September 2001.  The next day, as I watched those planes slam into the twin towers, and consoled Oldest Daughter who was just staring at the TV saying ‘Mummy, a Bad Thing, has happened’, I wondered what kind of a world I was bringing a […]

Shaman

Yesterday evening I was lucky enough to interview a Shaman for the magazine that I work for.  It was one of the most extraordinary experiences I’ve ever had.  I won’t go into detail here (I’ll save those for the article I’m writing), but one of the things that stood out about our conversation was his […]

Peace

I noticed today that I started this blog on 19th February 2018.  By sheer coincidence this was the 10th anniversary of the day that I found out about E’s first affair.  I didn’t deliberately choose the date, but it now seems strangely serendipitous that the date that everything started to fall apart ten years ago, […]

Soft Focus

The picture Youngest Son had found was E’s updated WhatsApp profile picture. It was a wedding photograph.  It’s a sideways on shot of P (in one of her two wedding dresses), puckering up to E in some sort of tropical cabana.  You can’t really see their faces, it’s all soft focus and gentle waves and […]

Bar

Today I’m handing part of the blog over to one of Oldest Daughter’s best friends – C.  They have been friends for most of their lives and C is one of the friends that has been by Oldest Daughter’s side throughout everything she’s been though as a result of E’s leaving.  C, along with a […]

Giving Up

E’s response, or lack thereof, to what had happened with Youngest Daughter was pretty much the final nail in the coffin of my perception of him.  Until that point, I’d still sort of hoped he was a decent person who was acting out of character (an otherwise good man who was a bit of a […]

Hospital

As I sat in the hospital with Youngest Daughter that morning I wondered if anything would ever be ok again. Because she was under 18, when we got to A&E they sent us to the paediatric area.  We sat there in silence, separated from the examination cubicles by an incongruously cheery picket fence, surrounded by […]