Open Letter

I’ve said before that one of the most frustrating things about what’s happened to me, has been the loss of my voice.  In lying to me and about me, in creating a version of me to justify his actions, E robbed me of the ability to defend myself and to tell my truth. I very […]

Two Sides

“There are always two sides to every story…” I’ve said it myself a few times, and most of the time it’s true.  It’s also an underlying assumption about any relationship breakdown.  As a result of this, even though everyone I’ve spoken to agrees that E’s behaviour has been completely out of order, an unspoken question […]

Not Waving

I saw a picture on Facebook the other day.  It was called ‘the two faces of depression’ and showed one face showing too much emotion and one face showing none at all.  Whilst it obviously missed a lot of important stuff about depression, it rang a bell with me. Fortunately, most of the time, my […]

Losing

When your partner leaves you for another woman, you’re inevitably seen as the ‘loser’. No matter how many people tell you that you’re ‘better off without him’ or that he’s ‘made a mistake he’ll regret’, that it’s ‘his loss’, or even that his new relationship ‘will never last’, the simple fact of the matter is that, […]

Honourable

E believes he is an honourable man. Don’t laugh. He really does. In the meantime, the rest of us are still struggling to reconcile the person we thought E was, with the person that the evidence is beginning to prove he actually is. There was the E I thought I was with for 25 years. […]

Ten Minutes

As I’ve already mentioned on here, I still struggle a bit on the days that E sees the boys. It has got easier as the months have gone on.  But I still find myself feeling the contrast between what ‘was’ and what ‘is’ on Saturdays. When E first left, Saturday mornings were incredibly hard.  Everyone […]