Open Letter

I’ve said before that one of the most frustrating things about what’s happened to me, has been the loss of my voice.  In lying to me and about me, in creating a version of me to justify his actions, E robbed me of the ability to defend myself and to tell my truth. I very […]

Different

I was thinking the other day about how different and how very much harder my children’s experience of E leaving has been to mine. In the almost three years since E left, I have spent so much time reassuring the kids that he’ll always be their Dad, that’s it’s me he’s left, not them, and […]

Anger

As I’ve watched E deliberately plunge me into an increasingly unmanageable financial situation over the last year or so my feelings have ranged from an initial stunned shock, through helplessness, bewilderment, disbelief, incredulity, hurt, irritation and, I guess inevitably, finally, anger. I’m angry with myself for my stupidity in thinking that E was a decent […]

Betrayal

I have thought long and hard about sharing this publicly, but I decided to post it because it was something that I found deeply upsetting and I guess, if nothing else, it serves as a cautionary tale re what we say on social media. I have never posted anything about E, or what’s happened with […]

Plate

It’s funny how metaphorical cups overflowing are seen as good, yet metaphorical plates being overloaded are undoubtedly bad.  Until recently, perhaps thinking more in terms of barbecues than metaphors, I’d rather have risked trying to balance an overloaded plate (potential to make it to my destination without dropping anything and then lots of nice stuff […]

Reggie

I’ve never really been a dog person, I don’t mind them (although I do find dogs that jump up a bit overwhelming), and, unlike cats, who pretty much just need feeding and somewhere to sleep, they need so much personal care – they need training to behave well, daily or twice daily walking, grooming and […]

Groundhog Day

I now have a court date – in either a beautiful stroke of irony, or a perfect example of sod’s law, it’s been fixed for my 50th birthday.   I guess, it will mark a new beginning, and a new freedom from E, whatever the court decides to do. However, my birthday is at the […]

Second Wave

I’ve talked a lot on this blog about how I’ve moved on from E and how happy I am that he’s no longer a part of my personal life.  Every day gets better and every day I’m happier.  However, hand in hand with this, or a side effect of getting emotionally so much better, is […]