Open Letter

I’ve said before that one of the most frustrating things about what’s happened to me, has been the loss of my voice.  In lying to me and about me, in creating a version of me to justify his actions, E robbed me of the ability to defend myself and to tell my truth. I very […]

Home

My stay in hospital ended up taking two days and two nights and involved two blood transfusions and an iron infusion all of which took hours to seep into my bloodstream. I’d only ever experienced a hospital stay when my children were born, and back then I was so in love with my tiny new […]

A&E

By 10.30, I was sat in A&E waiting to be admitted.  As I looked round the waiting room at my fellow patients, who included one woman ominously slumped over a pink bucket, a young man with a bloody nose, a pale, tearful, woman sitting opposite me, and a wheelchair-bound older chap who was cheerfully singing […]

Ill

I think it’s probably testament to how stressful my life has become recently that one of my pet fantasies had become having to spend a couple of days in hospital.  Not, obviously, for anything serious but for something like a minor op, something that would force me to stay in bed, not deal with day-to-day […]

Thursday

The Thursday before Easter dawned bright and warm. I’d taken the day off and I was hoping to spend the day relaxing and getting the house back into shape.   One and a half weeks of the kids being home all day during the school holidays had meant that everything was in a total fucking mess.  […]

notes and queries

I hesitated before posting this today, because the vast majority of people who surround me; my family, my friends and the readers of this blog, are amazing and supportive and utterly brilliant and this post doesn’t apply to them.  It’s just that, sometimes, just sometimes, over the last couple of years I’ve encountered unsolicited opinions and […]

Attrition

“Attrition warfare is a military strategy consisting of belligerent attempts to win a war by wearing down the enemy to the point of collapse through continuous losses in personnel and material. The war will usually be won by the side with greater such resources.”  It’s now approaching five months since E communicated with me at […]

Broke

When E and I were students we were broke.  We never had any money.   Back in those days there were still student grants.  I think E had a full grant which, like today’s student loans, was barely enough to survive on. His parents were unable to provide any money on top of his grant, so […]