It’s been a weird few weeks (hence the increased blog posts). In some ways it’s been tough, because a lot of quite traumatic memories have been dragged up, but ultimately, it’s been a time that’s confirmed how far I’ve come and how much better things are for me. I’ve realised how just happy I am and […]
Tag: divorce
CMS
As E’s refusal to pay any child maintenance until legally forced to do so continues into its seventh month, I am finding myself swinging between two emotional extremes. I have whole days where I feel unnaturally calm – I have an assurance that in the end everything will be ok, that this too will pass […]
Attrition
“Attrition warfare is a military strategy consisting of belligerent attempts to win a war by wearing down the enemy to the point of collapse through continuous losses in personnel and material. The war will usually be won by the side with greater such resources.” It’s now approaching five months since E communicated with me at […]
Damage
One thing that I have been more or less constantly aware of for the last two years is the effect that E and I splitting up has had, and will have, on our children. I grew up in the 70s/80s, a time when children of divorced parents were seen as coming from a ‘broken home’ […]
Bigger
I was talking to my Aunt on Tuesday. As I’ve mentioned on here before, we lost my lovely Uncle last year, and she is at the beginning of the long hard path of learning to live a life without him. She was saying that she’d seen an illustration about grief, which showed grief as a […]
Karma
Karma has been mentioned a lot to me over the last two years or so. I think it reflects a desire we all have to see justice done, to see fairness applied, to see the good guys get their reward and the bad guys realise how wrong they are. Whilst I don’t think of myself […]
At least
We all do it. I do it all the time. It’s just what we do when we’re faced with a friend who is having a terrible time and there’s nothing we can do or say to help, but we want to show how much we care about and support them. We want to acknowledge how […]
Honourable
E believes he is an honourable man. Don’t laugh. He really does. In the meantime, the rest of us are still struggling to reconcile the person we thought E was, with the person that the evidence is beginning to prove he actually is. There was the E I thought I was with for 25 years. […]
Ten Minutes
As I’ve already mentioned on here, I still struggle a bit on the days that E sees the boys. It has got easier as the months have gone on. But I still find myself feeling the contrast between what ‘was’ and what ‘is’ on Saturdays. When E first left, Saturday mornings were incredibly hard. Everyone […]
Grown Up
When we were children, I think we all had some idea in our heads of what being a Grown Up would be like. For me, aged about three, being a Grown Up involved lipstick and shoes with heels. Our expectations tend to change as we grow older and by the time I was five or […]