Shoes

Now things have quietened down, I’m slowly beginning to try to process and make sense of everything that’s happened over the last four years or so.  I’ve found I have very little specific memory of last year, especially last summer.  It’s all a blur  – losing my Mum, agreeing to let E have what he […]

July

July 2020 was a month in which everything in my life changed.  By the end of July, I had moved to a new house, and started a whole new life.  By the end of July, my priorities had shifted forever.  By the end of July, my beautiful Mum, my anchor, my safety, the person my […]

Over

‘Over it’ is a funny term.  It’s kind of an expectation.  A thing that you need to do in order to be able to move on.  It’s supposed to be a liberation.  It can also be a pressure – a mountain to climb, or at least to prove that you’ve climbed When E and I […]

MP

  So. I wrote a letter to my MP… Hi Nadine and Steve I’m one of Nadine’s constituents, but I’m also writing to Steve because I know he has taken an interest in this issue. I really need some help with the CMS. I was with my partner, who I met at University for 25 […]

Different

I was thinking the other day about how different and how very much harder my children’s experience of E leaving has been to mine. In the almost three years since E left, I have spent so much time reassuring the kids that he’ll always be their Dad, that’s it’s me he’s left, not them, and […]

Anger

As I’ve watched E deliberately plunge me into an increasingly unmanageable financial situation over the last year or so my feelings have ranged from an initial stunned shock, through helplessness, bewilderment, disbelief, incredulity, hurt, irritation and, I guess inevitably, finally, anger. I’m angry with myself for my stupidity in thinking that E was a decent […]

Betrayal

I have thought long and hard about sharing this publicly, but I decided to post it because it was something that I found deeply upsetting and I guess, if nothing else, it serves as a cautionary tale re what we say on social media. I have never posted anything about E, or what’s happened with […]

Reggie

I’ve never really been a dog person, I don’t mind them (although I do find dogs that jump up a bit overwhelming), and, unlike cats, who pretty much just need feeding and somewhere to sleep, they need so much personal care – they need training to behave well, daily or twice daily walking, grooming and […]

Groundhog Day

I now have a court date – in either a beautiful stroke of irony, or a perfect example of sod’s law, it’s been fixed for my 50th birthday.   I guess, it will mark a new beginning, and a new freedom from E, whatever the court decides to do. However, my birthday is at the […]

Second Wave

I’ve talked a lot on this blog about how I’ve moved on from E and how happy I am that he’s no longer a part of my personal life.  Every day gets better and every day I’m happier.  However, hand in hand with this, or a side effect of getting emotionally so much better, is […]