July

July 2020 was a month in which everything in my life changed.  By the end of July, I had moved to a new house, and started a whole new life.  By the end of July, my priorities had shifted forever.  By the end of July, my beautiful Mum, my anchor, my safety, the person my […]

Over

‘Over it’ is a funny term.  It’s kind of an expectation.  A thing that you need to do in order to be able to move on.  It’s supposed to be a liberation.  It can also be a pressure – a mountain to climb, or at least to prove that you’ve climbed When E and I […]

Pandemic

We’re all now aware of  and experiencing the effects of the Covid 19 pandemic, but one thing that we’re increasingly warned of these days is another growing, but silent, problem that’s slowly, but surely creeping upon us as a result of the lockdowns, the social deprivations and the changes to our daily routines – a […]

Lowering the bar

Oldest Daughter once said with a sad sigh: “just when I think Dad can’t lower the bar anymore, he manages to crawl under it”. Since she said this, he’s managed to crawl under a fair few more of his lowered bars. In fact, I could have been forgiven for thinking his bar was finally at […]

Wall

They say in marathon running that there is a point (usually at around 2/3 of the way through) where you ‘hit the wall’ and that in order to complete it you need to keep running – runners do it by pacing themselves, taking on nutrition and making a huge mental effort – mind over matter. […]

An open letter to E

Dear E I’m not sure why I’m writing this.  I don’t think it will achieve anything.  In fact, if anything, it will feed into whatever narrative you’ve created to justify your behaviour and make you the hero of your story (or the victim of mine). I spent 25 years listening to you describe the people […]

Brain

Sometimes, being the Human Passenger piloted by my brain can be an exhausting experience.  It’s a bit like being ruled by a hyperactive toddler who’s been fed sugar, caffeine and been given a kitten.  When I was visiting Oldest Daughter in Durham, my train journey, that I’d hoped would be a quiet, peaceful few hours, was […]

Court

28th October 2019.  My 50th birthday.  I like birthdays.  Especially mine.  No matter how old I get, I always get that happy feeling on the morning of my birthday – a feeling that nice things will happen, there will be cake, and friends and good stuff.  As a result, I’ve had some memorable birthdays.  When […]

Baby

I’m sorry for the lack of blog over the last few months.  As I’ve mentioned on the Facebook page, events have rather overwhelmed me in the last few months. The court case has happened, and looks likely to happen again (more in another post), but the most important thing that’s happened, and something I couldn’t […]