After everything we’ve been through with E, I really thought we’d seen it all. We’ve had a secret marriage, a year of no child support and mortgage defaults, a complete refusal to communicate with me, at all, about anything ever (including messages regarding his child’s mental health crisis), we’re also resigned to the fact that […]
Tag: acca
Awake
As I explained in my last post, I finally have complete psychological freedom from E. If this were a movie, I’d have left him in a darkened forest, surrounded by gnarly old trees, twisting vines and grasping roots and, goblin like, he’d be shouting at my disappearing form that he’s still important, still relevant, can […]
Free
It’s been a weird few weeks (hence the increased blog posts). In some ways it’s been tough, because a lot of quite traumatic memories have been dragged up, but ultimately, it’s been a time that’s confirmed how far I’ve come and how much better things are for me. I’ve realised how just happy I am and […]
Own
I think, generally, the kids and I are now in, what I suppose could be called ‘recovery’ from everything that’s happened to us over the last five years. We’re in a pretty calm place these days and, although, for me, there are clouds on the horizon in the shape of the threat of E withdrawing […]
Shoes
Now things have quietened down, I’m slowly beginning to try to process and make sense of everything that’s happened over the last four years or so. I’ve found I have very little specific memory of last year, especially last summer. It’s all a blur – losing my Mum, agreeing to let E have what he […]
Court
28th October 2019. My 50th birthday. I like birthdays. Especially mine. No matter how old I get, I always get that happy feeling on the morning of my birthday – a feeling that nice things will happen, there will be cake, and friends and good stuff. As a result, I’ve had some memorable birthdays. When […]
Different
I was thinking the other day about how different and how very much harder my children’s experience of E leaving has been to mine. In the almost three years since E left, I have spent so much time reassuring the kids that he’ll always be their Dad, that’s it’s me he’s left, not them, and […]
Second Wave
I’ve talked a lot on this blog about how I’ve moved on from E and how happy I am that he’s no longer a part of my personal life. Every day gets better and every day I’m happier. However, hand in hand with this, or a side effect of getting emotionally so much better, is […]
Festival
I live in a small town in Bedfordshire called Ampthill. I’m probably biased, but I think it’s an incredible little place. According to a recent survey, it has the best high street in the country for independent retailers, and frankly, it must hold some sort of record for the ratio of pubs and coffee shops […]
Crunch
Well, I knew it was coming. It was inevitable. I’ve watched in despair as I got deeper and deeper into debt just to pay the mortgage, the bills and buy food, but the end of June, is officially crunch point – the moment when I touch the bottom of my overdraft and the point where […]
He-total: Life without Ex 