Down

Sometimes I think the worst thing about what’s currently happening with E is the fact that, after everything he has already put me though, he is finally leeching the joy out of my life.  Until now, whilst I’ve had bad days, I’ve generally managed to stay upbeat and positive and have usually kept going with my […]

Consequences

Never one to mince her words.  Youngest Daughter jumped straight into the comments thread with: “ooh look, it’s my dad, haven’t seen him since 2016” and frankly it then went downhill for him from there. I was in the room with her whilst she was commenting, and she was both exhilarated with and overwhelmed by […]

Perfect Storm

Youngest Daughter’s GCSE results marked the beginning of a downward slope for her.  In the days following the results I felt like I was walking a very high tightrope with no safety net.  Everything I said or suggested (or even didn’t say or suggest) would be met with an explosion of rage and a slammed door.  […]

Silence

Whilst E’s withholding money in November (I’ve yet to see what his plans are for December) has caused me personal anguish, the financial stress and worry I’ve felt has been nothing compared to the effect this has had on the children. I’ve tried to not let them see how distressing I’ve found it personally, but, […]

Pigeon

There’s a phrase I love about pointless arguments:  “Never play chess with a pigeon: the pigeon just knocks all the pieces over, then shits all over the board, then struts around like it won.” Looking back on some of my recent communication with E, it seems strangely appropriate. These days communication between E and me […]

Work

Working full time, after 18 years out of the workplace, has been a brilliant but, at times, slightly strange experience. I know lots of women can find being at home with their children very stressful, whilst others can find it very boring and not challenging enough – but I absolutely loved it. I loved being […]