Plate

It’s funny how metaphorical cups overflowing are seen as good, yet metaphorical plates being overloaded are undoubtedly bad.  Until recently, perhaps thinking more in terms of barbecues than metaphors, I’d rather have risked trying to balance an overloaded plate (potential to make it to my destination without dropping anything and then lots of nice stuff […]

Festival

I live in a small town in Bedfordshire called Ampthill.  I’m probably biased, but I think it’s an incredible little place.  According to a recent survey, it has the best high street in the country for independent retailers, and frankly, it must hold some sort of record for the ratio of pubs and coffee shops […]

Thursday

The Thursday before Easter dawned bright and warm. I’d taken the day off and I was hoping to spend the day relaxing and getting the house back into shape.   One and a half weeks of the kids being home all day during the school holidays had meant that everything was in a total fucking mess.  […]

A day in the life

Even though I’m constantly aware of what’s coming if E keeps withholding child maintenance, it doesn’t actually dominate my life – there’s no room for it to.  Generally, my life is not just ‘carrying on’, most days it’s enjoyable, funny and rewarding – although nothing ever goes quite to plan. Whilst I’d love to live […]

Weasel

When asked to describe what his plays were about, Harold Pinter famously replied: ‘the weasel under the cocktail cabinet’.  This perfectly describes the sense of unease, even dread, that pervades the seemingly ‘normal’ world of his plays. Like a Pinter play, without the long pauses, on the surface everything in my world is perfectly normal […]

Bigger

I was talking to my Aunt on Tuesday.  As I’ve mentioned on here before, we lost my lovely Uncle last year, and she is at the beginning of the long hard path of learning to live a life without him.  She was saying that she’d seen an illustration about grief, which showed grief as a […]

Down

Sometimes I think the worst thing about what’s currently happening with E is the fact that, after everything he has already put me though, he is finally leeching the joy out of my life.  Until now, whilst I’ve had bad days, I’ve generally managed to stay upbeat and positive and have usually kept going with my […]

Consequences

Never one to mince her words.  Youngest Daughter jumped straight into the comments thread with: “ooh look, it’s my dad, haven’t seen him since 2016” and frankly it then went downhill for him from there. I was in the room with her whilst she was commenting, and she was both exhilarated with and overwhelmed by […]

Perfect Storm

Youngest Daughter’s GCSE results marked the beginning of a downward slope for her.  In the days following the results I felt like I was walking a very high tightrope with no safety net.  Everything I said or suggested (or even didn’t say or suggest) would be met with an explosion of rage and a slammed door.  […]

Silence

Whilst E’s withholding money in November (I’ve yet to see what his plans are for December) has caused me personal anguish, the financial stress and worry I’ve felt has been nothing compared to the effect this has had on the children. I’ve tried to not let them see how distressing I’ve found it personally, but, […]