Communication with E seems to have reached a new low recently. It seems that he has now stopped replying to my emails. He’s never answered a text and he refuses to speak to me, so email was pretty much the only way I could communicate with him about the kids and money. Now he’s not responding to those either, it looks like I can’t communicate with him about anything anymore.
I’ve been trying to contact him to find out why our mortgage company has sent us a letter about ‘being in financial difficulties’ (to make sure he’d made the most recent payment – with his financial track record I think it’s understandable that I was worried), and to ask if he was prepared to help Oldest Daughter pay her rent at University over the summer (her student loan doesn’t kick in until September, but she has rent to pay from July). To be fair, I did get a bit narky and I also pointed out that the kids are very aware that he and P had just had a lovely holiday in Singapore whilst we can’t afford to go anywhere at (I also mentioned that we can’t even drive anywhere because he and P still have our family car), but, rather than reply, or even (heaven forbid) have a grown up conversation, he’s done what he always seems to do when faced with a bit of irritation from his (former) family: ignore everything and change his WhatsApp profile picture. He responded to the conversation in the bar with C and M by posting a wedding picture, and today he posted a picture of him and P laughing and looking at a poor, unsuspecting, dolphin. Leaving aside the dolphin’s welfare for a moment, I’m not sure what’s prompted this one? My irritated emails? Reading the blog? Being so self-absorbed that he doesn’t care how his kids feel whenever they see a new picture of their Dad with a woman they’ve never met?
I assume he does this on WhatsApp because he’s just not brave enough to post pictures of them somewhere as public as Facebook. I think, so far, only P’s family and the world of Accountancy Tuition has been introduced to the love story that is E and P. He hasn’t introduced P to any of his family yet, let alone told them he’s been married to her for a year, so it might cause him, and them, a fair bit of embarrassment if he started putting his couple-y pics on there. On WhatsApp, however, he can quietly post pictures of his new life, knowing that most people won’t even notice, but ensuring that his kids (and therefore I), will see every single picture he posts. Initially I did try to give him the benefit of the doubt and thought maybe he didn’t realise who was seeing them, but – as he’ll tell you (several times) if you meet him – he’s an intelligent person and I’m beginning to think that he knows exactly what he’s doing.
Inevitably, it was Youngest Son that found the latest picture. He appeared this morning waving his phone mournfully in the air, rolling his eyes, and saying. “there’s another one!”. In this one E (who looks increasingly overweight in every new picture I see), is pulling a grotesque face, and flapping his hands by the side of his face, at the poor dolphin (who is presumably already suffering enough from being forced to perform in a tiny pool instead of living in the sea where it belongs) whilst P smiles next to him. Whilst this really isn’t E’s best angle, P looks gorgeous. She’s wearing some sort of straw hat (very prettily boho) and he’s somehow managed to jam a blue baseball cap (stretched to the largest possible fitting), backwards, onto his head (presumably to protect his bald patch from the sun). The dolphin looks slightly worried; whether by the age gap, the tightness of P’s hat or being trapped in the tiny pool, we’ll never know.
I have no idea where or when it was taken, or who took it – maybe it was in Florida and one of the ‘close family members’ (hers only) invited to their wedding took it? Perhaps he’s moved on from ‘wedding’ to ‘honeymoon’ in his WhatsApp narrative? What’s next? Their new flat? Their lovely life? Drinks in the bar with C and M? I wonder if he’ll ever post a picture of him with his kids?
Under any other circumstance it would be just a bit of a crap picture of E, the problem here is that the fact that he’s never once talked to me or the kids about what’s happened just makes the pictures he posts seem incomprehensibly insensitive, deeply selfish and really rather unpleasant. Putting pictures like this up, after everything that’s happened, and before they’ve had the guts to face up to the consequences of their actions, makes it look like E and P are just laughing at the pain they’ve caused. They show how little they care about anyone except themselves.
Anyway, instead of getting upset, I’ve now started dealing with E’s pictures by just sending them to close friends and family members and enjoying their reactions. Reactions to this one mostly comprised vomit smileys and comments about E’s weight and how he looks like P’s Dad, but a couple really made me laugh. My sister replied “even the dolphin’s telling him to fuck off” and my best friend from University speculated that the dolphin was laughing at E’s “wanky backwards hat”.
The best reply of the lot, and the one that made me snort coffee from my nose, however, was from my Mum. She simply said “I think the dolphin is saying ‘piss off you fat bastard and grow up'”.
I love my Mum.