Different

I was thinking the other day about how different and how very much harder my children’s experience of E leaving has been to mine. In the almost three years since E left, I have spent so much time reassuring the kids that he’ll always be their Dad, that’s it’s me he’s left, not them, and […]

Anger

As I’ve watched E deliberately plunge me into an increasingly unmanageable financial situation over the last year or so my feelings have ranged from an initial stunned shock, through helplessness, bewilderment, disbelief, incredulity, hurt, irritation and, I guess inevitably, finally, anger. I’m angry with myself for my stupidity in thinking that E was a decent […]

A day in the life

Even though I’m constantly aware of what’s coming if E keeps withholding child maintenance, it doesn’t actually dominate my life – there’s no room for it to.  Generally, my life is not just ‘carrying on’, most days it’s enjoyable, funny and rewarding – although nothing ever goes quite to plan. Whilst I’d love to live […]

Frozen

I spent the rest of the Friday after E’s CMS bombshell, in shock.  I knew I should be calling the CMS again to find out more about why E had applied for a financial variation, I knew needed to call the Secured Loan Company about the fact that he’d defaulted on the loan (handily a […]

Dishes

All of a sudden, in the weeks running up to Christmas, Oldest Son seemed to reach Peak Teen. My mild mannered, quietly sardonic son became slightly moody, his amusingly sarcastic comments became increasingly biting and his usual amused patience with me and his siblings was replaced with an increasingly bemused irritation. It was bound to […]

Teens

In the midst of all of the worry about money and what, if anything, E intends financially for December, life goes on.  Despite the fact that I’m living in a state of almost constant anxiety about money, most of my time at home is still spent cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and shouting at the kids […]