Betrayal

I have thought long and hard about sharing this publicly, but I decided to post it because it was something that I found deeply upsetting and I guess, if nothing else, it serves as a cautionary tale re what we say on social media. I have never posted anything about E, or what’s happened with […]

The Secret Diary of E, aged 37 3/4* *(according to J). The Early Years: Part One

Over the last year or so loads of people have asked me what on earth was going on in E’s head.  I usually shrug, shake my head and say something along the lines of ‘unfathomable’.  But maybe, just maybe, I can guess.  Below is the first in a series of light-hearted attempts to look at […]

Soft Focus

The picture Youngest Son had found was E’s updated WhatsApp profile picture. It was a wedding photograph.  It’s a sideways on shot of P (in one of her two wedding dresses), puckering up to E in some sort of tropical cabana.  You can’t really see their faces, it’s all soft focus and gentle waves and […]

Bar

Today I’m handing part of the blog over to one of Oldest Daughter’s best friends – C.  They have been friends for most of their lives and C is one of the friends that has been by Oldest Daughter’s side throughout everything she’s been though as a result of E’s leaving.  C, along with a […]

Photograph

On the morning of our first full day in Singapore, I made E and I a cup of coffee each.  We had no cups and no milk, just wine glasses and a couple of half-pint tankard-style glasses (coffee, wine and beer – I always have been all about the priorities).  I poured our coffee into […]

Drill

This weekend was yet another one that was good for the soul.  I spent it gardening, baking with Oldest Son and reading.  It was also one, where, thanks largely to my garden, I began to reconsider what I was ‘good’ at and what I could and couldn’t do. I spent Saturday morning weeding, mowing the […]

Rose Petal Perfume

When my sister and I were little we used to make perfume out of rose petals. We’d carefully pick the petals and mix them with cold water in plastic teacups.  In my head, we’d made a beautiful thing, although in actuality, our perfume was just muddy water with slimy bits of rose petal gloomily sinking […]

Fallout

The fallout from Oldest Daughter’s discovery of P’s surname change was swift and emotional.After eight months of E-generated WTF moments, this was definitely the WTF-iest so far.  Given E’s reticence on the matter, we just couldn’t fathom why P would change her name in such a public way.  She must have known that E hadn’t […]

Single

The subject of if, how, and when I will ever end up dating, or even finding another partner, has become something of a running joke here at Team He Total HQ. Whilst the kids refuse to accept P as anything other than ‘Dad’s girlfriend’ (her legal designation as his wife and their stepmother is too […]

Open Letter

I’ve said before that one of the most frustrating things about what’s happened to me, has been the loss of my voice.  In lying to me and about me, in creating a version of me to justify his actions, E robbed me of the ability to defend myself and to tell my truth. I very […]