Ten Minutes

As I’ve already mentioned on here, I still struggle a bit on the days that E sees the boys. It has got easier as the months have gone on.  But I still find myself feeling the contrast between what ‘was’ and what ‘is’ on Saturdays. When E first left, Saturday mornings were incredibly hard.  Everyone […]

Pigeon

There’s a phrase I love about pointless arguments:  “Never play chess with a pigeon: the pigeon just knocks all the pieces over, then shits all over the board, then struts around like it won.” Looking back on some of my recent communication with E, it seems strangely appropriate. These days communication between E and me […]

Holiday

We’re now nearly two weeks into the school summer holidays and I’m already losing track of what day it is School summer holidays always assume a comforting, steady rhythm.  I’ve never filled the days with endless activities, for us the school holidays have always about being lazy, not getting up on time, and just enjoying […]

End of Term Report

Last Friday marked the end of the first whole school year that the kids and I have done on our own. Looking back, I’m incredibly proud of my little gang.  This time last year we were still struggling in the wake of E’s leaving and trying to get used to being a family of five […]

Bad Day

I’ve had a few days this week where I’ve felt really down about everything. It’s so frustrating when these days hit –  it’s bad enough what E did, but the fact that it’s still hurting and upsetting me 18 months on just feels unfair and makes me feel like I’m being self-indulgent – surely I […]

Shaman

Yesterday evening I was lucky enough to interview a Shaman for the magazine that I work for.  It was one of the most extraordinary experiences I’ve ever had.  I won’t go into detail here (I’ll save those for the article I’m writing), but one of the things that stood out about our conversation was his […]

Hospital

As I sat in the hospital with Youngest Daughter that morning I wondered if anything would ever be ok again. Because she was under 18, when we got to A&E they sent us to the paediatric area.  We sat there in silence, separated from the examination cubicles by an incongruously cheery picket fence, surrounded by […]