It’s been a weird few weeks (hence the increased blog posts). In some ways it’s been tough, because a lot of quite traumatic memories have been dragged up, but ultimately, it’s been a time that’s confirmed how far I’ve come and how much better things are for me. I’ve realised how just happy I am and […]
Tag: anxiety
Second Wave
I’ve talked a lot on this blog about how I’ve moved on from E and how happy I am that he’s no longer a part of my personal life. Every day gets better and every day I’m happier. However, hand in hand with this, or a side effect of getting emotionally so much better, is […]
Humpty Dumpty
“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean – neither more nor less.” I’ve spent a lot of the last two years wondering how E would describe his behaviour or behave when confronted with it. I’ve seen (and quoted) emails he […]
Christmas Spirit
When he realises that the Spirits of Christmas Past, Present and Yet To Come have done their work all in one night, and not over the course of three consecutive days, as originally promised, Ebenezer Scrooge is both surprised and delighted. I love this story, but I always thought that, despite his conversion, at this […]
Live
Youngest Daughter’s attempts to make her dad listen to her took another turn at the weekend. Until she hijacked his Facebook Live lecture the previous week, I’d managed to (mostly) keep her from talking about what was happening on social media. However, the fact that even spilling the beans about what was happening live on […]
Down
Sometimes I think the worst thing about what’s currently happening with E is the fact that, after everything he has already put me though, he is finally leeching the joy out of my life. Until now, whilst I’ve had bad days, I’ve generally managed to stay upbeat and positive and have usually kept going with my […]
Consequences
Never one to mince her words. Youngest Daughter jumped straight into the comments thread with: “ooh look, it’s my dad, haven’t seen him since 2016” and frankly it then went downhill for him from there. I was in the room with her whilst she was commenting, and she was both exhilarated with and overwhelmed by […]
Teens
In the midst of all of the worry about money and what, if anything, E intends financially for December, life goes on. Despite the fact that I’m living in a state of almost constant anxiety about money, most of my time at home is still spent cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and shouting at the kids […]
Silence
Whilst E’s withholding money in November (I’ve yet to see what his plans are for December) has caused me personal anguish, the financial stress and worry I’ve felt has been nothing compared to the effect this has had on the children. I’ve tried to not let them see how distressing I’ve found it personally, but, […]
Money
The children’s reactions to E’s decision to withhold payment of the money were varied. Apart from Oldest Daughter, I didn’t tell them what had happened for a week or so. To be honest, I was hoping that E had forgotten, or was just making a point before he paid the money. When it became clear […]
He-total: Life without Ex 