Tag: depression

Plate

It’s funny how metaphorical cups overflowing are seen as good, yet metaphorical plates being overloaded are undoubtedly bad.  Until recently, perhaps thinking more in terms of barbecues than metaphors, I’d rather have risked trying to balance an overloaded plate (potential to make it to my destination without dropping anything and then lots of nice stuff […]

Perfect Storm

Youngest Daughter’s GCSE results marked the beginning of a downward slope for her.  In the days following the results I felt like I was walking a very high tightrope with no safety net.  Everything I said or suggested (or even didn’t say or suggest) would be met with an explosion of rage and a slammed door.  […]

Not Waving

I saw a picture on Facebook the other day.  It was called ‘the two faces of depression’ and showed one face showing too much emotion and one face showing none at all.  Whilst it obviously missed a lot of important stuff about depression, it rang a bell with me. Fortunately, most of the time, my […]

Holiday

We’re now nearly two weeks into the school summer holidays and I’m already losing track of what day it is School summer holidays always assume a comforting, steady rhythm.  I’ve never filled the days with endless activities, for us the school holidays have always about being lazy, not getting up on time, and just enjoying […]

Bad Day

I’ve had a few days this week where I’ve felt really down about everything. It’s so frustrating when these days hit –  it’s bad enough what E did, but the fact that it’s still hurting and upsetting me 18 months on just feels unfair and makes me feel like I’m being self-indulgent – surely I […]

Peace

I noticed today that I started this blog on 19th February 2018.  By sheer coincidence this was the 10th anniversary of the day that I found out about E’s first affair.  I didn’t deliberately choose the date, but it now seems strangely serendipitous that the date that everything started to fall apart ten years ago, […]

Soft Focus

The picture Youngest Son had found was E’s updated WhatsApp profile picture. It was a wedding photograph.  It’s a sideways on shot of P (in one of her two wedding dresses), puckering up to E in some sort of tropical cabana.  You can’t really see their faces, it’s all soft focus and gentle waves and […]

Bar

Today I’m handing part of the blog over to one of Oldest Daughter’s best friends – C.  They have been friends for most of their lives and C is one of the friends that has been by Oldest Daughter’s side throughout everything she’s been though as a result of E’s leaving.  C, along with a […]

Giving Up

E’s response, or lack thereof, to what had happened with Youngest Daughter was pretty much the final nail in the coffin of my perception of him.  Until that point, I’d still sort of hoped he was a decent person who was acting out of character (an otherwise good man who was a bit of a […]

Photograph

On the morning of our first full day in Singapore, I made E and I a cup of coffee each.  We had no cups and no milk, just wine glasses and a couple of half-pint tankard-style glasses (coffee, wine and beer – I always have been all about the priorities).  I poured our coffee into […]