Category: Health

Should

I had something of a ‘Saul on the road to Damascus’ moment the other day. Things are pretty good.  I’m really beginning to feel that my life is mine again, and I am moving on from everything that has happened over the last six years.  I’m learning to accept that it will never be fair, […]

Awake

As I explained in my last post, I finally have complete psychological freedom from E. If this were a movie, I’d have left him in a darkened forest, surrounded by gnarly old trees, twisting vines and grasping roots and, goblin like, he’d be shouting at my disappearing form that he’s still important, still relevant, can […]

Insanity

There’s a quote that regularly does the rounds on social media.  It’s usually wrongly attributed to Einstein, but it does have an air of his quirky brilliance to it: “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” By this definition, the last six years have […]

Shoes

Now things have quietened down, I’m slowly beginning to try to process and make sense of everything that’s happened over the last four years or so.  I’ve found I have very little specific memory of last year, especially last summer.  It’s all a blur  – losing my Mum, agreeing to let E have what he […]

Thestrals

“The only people who can see thestrals,” she said, “are people who have seen death.”Harry Potter and The Order Of The Phoenix – JK Rowling The day after my Mum died Oldest Son gave me a hug and said quietly: “you can see thestrals now”.  In those five words Oldest Son encapsulated the most profound […]

July

July 2020 was a month in which everything in my life changed.  By the end of July, I had moved to a new house, and started a whole new life.  By the end of July, my priorities had shifted forever.  By the end of July, my beautiful Mum, my anchor, my safety, the person my […]

Pandemic

We’re all now aware of  and experiencing the effects of the Covid 19 pandemic, but one thing that we’re increasingly warned of these days is another growing, but silent, problem that’s slowly, but surely creeping upon us as a result of the lockdowns, the social deprivations and the changes to our daily routines – a […]

Lowering the bar

Oldest Daughter once said with a sad sigh: “just when I think Dad can’t lower the bar anymore, he manages to crawl under it”. Since she said this, he’s managed to crawl under a fair few more of his lowered bars. In fact, I could have been forgiven for thinking his bar was finally at […]

Child

It was inevitable I suppose.  It was what I’d been expecting since I found out that E and P had married.  I expected it to feel like a punch to the guts.  But when I was told that E and P were expecting a baby, I just laughed. The circumstances under which I found out, […]

Grandson

In the midst of the isolation of lockdown and the frustration of E’s complete non communication, there has been some amazing news. I am now a Grandma! My Grandson (who is, of course, absolutely beautiful, in fact, I’m pretty sure he’s the most beautiful baby born in the world EVER) was born on 4th April, […]