I saw an advert for the brand of washing powder I used when the children were babies the other day. Out of nowhere, as if it was yesterday, I vividly remembered its smell and inhaling it as I held my children. I could see the damp washing as it tumbled out of the machine and feel its coolness on […]
Tag: acca
WhatsUp?
Communication with E seems to have reached a new low recently. It seems that he has now stopped replying to my emails. He’s never answered a text and he refuses to speak to me, so email was pretty much the only way I could communicate with him about the kids and money. Now he’s not responding […]
Old Normal
Watching Youngest Son watch the football the other night, made me realise two things; firstly how much has changed, secondly how little has changed, since E left us. Whilst the kids and I have experienced a seismic shift emotionally, and in terms of our family dynamic, the fact is that in terms of our environment […]
The Beautiful Game
Another word cup season has rolled around and with it has come a host of memories. As well as the fact that England will probably go out on penalties, there is an additional sadness for me this time. Whilst I’m largely grateful for the fact that I’m barely registering the football this year, it’s not […]
Fathers’ Day
It was Fathers’ Day on Sunday, and whilst the kids didn’t particularly lament the lack of their Dad (in fact none of them noticed – Youngest Son only remembered because I asked him if he’d wished his Dad a Happy Father’s Day), it did make me reflect upon E’s role as a ‘father figure’. In […]
Weekend
Yesterday I went to my best friend of nearly 35 years parents’ house for a ‘goodbye’ do (she’s moving to the depths of beautiful Cornwall in a few weeks). We met in our first year of upper school in 1983, and we have been friends ever since. I felt quite tearful when I went to the […]
Shaman
Yesterday evening I was lucky enough to interview a Shaman for the magazine that I work for. It was one of the most extraordinary experiences I’ve ever had. I won’t go into detail here (I’ll save those for the article I’m writing), but one of the things that stood out about our conversation was his […]
Fair
A couple of days ago, a friend at work asked me if I was writing this blog for E to read. My answer was a rather surprised ‘no’. There were a few reasons I started writing this blog. The first was to explore what had happened to me, to pull at strands of the tangled […]
The Secret Diary of E, aged 37 3/4* *(according to J). The Early Years: Part One
Over the last year or so loads of people have asked me what on earth was going on in E’s head. I usually shrug, shake my head and say something along the lines of ‘unfathomable’. But maybe, just maybe, I can guess. Below is the first in a series of light-hearted attempts to look at […]
Peace
I noticed today that I started this blog on 19th February 2018. By sheer coincidence this was the 10th anniversary of the day that I found out about E’s first affair. I didn’t deliberately choose the date, but it now seems strangely serendipitous that the date that everything started to fall apart ten years ago, […]
He-total: Life without Ex 