It’s funny how a day can suddenly change, can suddenly turn from being a beautiful, positive thing, full of potential, into a nightmare. This happened the day I found out about E’s first affair (we had identical phones, and I picked up his, thinking it was mine, to find hundreds of texts between E and […]
Category: Teenagers
Bigger
I was talking to my Aunt on Tuesday. As I’ve mentioned on here before, we lost my lovely Uncle last year, and she is at the beginning of the long hard path of learning to live a life without him. She was saying that she’d seen an illustration about grief, which showed grief as a […]
Wine
“Life goes on” can be a cruelly truthful phrase. At first, when a loved one dies, or life changes irreversibly, you feel that everything has stood still for you, and watching the rest of the world carry on as if nothing has happened is a strange, and occasionally hurtful, experience. However, inevitably, as days lengthen […]
Dishes
All of a sudden, in the weeks running up to Christmas, Oldest Son seemed to reach Peak Teen. My mild mannered, quietly sardonic son became slightly moody, his amusingly sarcastic comments became increasingly biting and his usual amused patience with me and his siblings was replaced with an increasingly bemused irritation. It was bound to […]
Humpty Dumpty
“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean – neither more nor less.” I’ve spent a lot of the last two years wondering how E would describe his behaviour or behave when confronted with it. I’ve seen (and quoted) emails he […]
Trust
I’m pleased to report that E has now paid the January installment of Child Maintenance that the Child Maintenance Service asked him for. He’s still not paying anything towards his share of the mortgage, or any maintenance at all for the girls (I receive child benefit for the boys, so the CMS can only arrange […]
Christmas Spirit
When he realises that the Spirits of Christmas Past, Present and Yet To Come have done their work all in one night, and not over the course of three consecutive days, as originally promised, Ebenezer Scrooge is both surprised and delighted. I love this story, but I always thought that, despite his conversion, at this […]
Down
Sometimes I think the worst thing about what’s currently happening with E is the fact that, after everything he has already put me though, he is finally leeching the joy out of my life. Until now, whilst I’ve had bad days, I’ve generally managed to stay upbeat and positive and have usually kept going with my […]
5th December
Since E left, I’ve come to realise that some anniversaries hurt more than others. I was expecting to feel rubbish on 22nd November. 22nd November 1991 was the day that E and I had become an official couple – after flirting and snogging a few days earlier, and after watching me ‘dance’ (I’m not one […]
Perfect Storm
Youngest Daughter’s GCSE results marked the beginning of a downward slope for her. In the days following the results I felt like I was walking a very high tightrope with no safety net. Everything I said or suggested (or even didn’t say or suggest) would be met with an explosion of rage and a slammed door. […]
He-total: Life without Ex 