Bad Romance

From the abduction of Helen of Troy to the betrayal of Dr Foster, the tales told by our culture – in our literature, television, theatre and film industries – have thrived on affairs since the day we started telling each other stories about ourselves. Of course, not all of these stories suggest that affairs are […]

The Secret Diary of E, aged 37 3/4 (according to J). The Early Years: Part Two

It’s been a while since we heard from E. Let’s go back to 2008 and see what he’s up to… January 2008 Meetings where I was v important: 20 (v v v good) Students who fancy me – lost count (am Love God after all) 3rd Back to work. Back to K.  Have missed being […]

Work

Working full time, after 18 years out of the workplace, has been a brilliant but, at times, slightly strange experience. I know lots of women can find being at home with their children very stressful, whilst others can find it very boring and not challenging enough – but I absolutely loved it. I loved being […]

Picture Perfect

Last Friday provided two pictures that contrasted sharply, and beautifully summed up how my and E’s lives, and perspectives, have changed over the last 18 months. Friday was Youngest Daughter’s Year 11 Prom.  Like Oldest Daughter’s moving into University for the first time, this was another moment that I had just assumed E and I would […]

Bad Day

I’ve had a few days this week where I’ve felt really down about everything. It’s so frustrating when these days hit –  it’s bad enough what E did, but the fact that it’s still hurting and upsetting me 18 months on just feels unfair and makes me feel like I’m being self-indulgent – surely I […]

Body

One of the first things I did when I found out about E’s affairs was look at photographs of the woman he had been involved with and compare myself to them.  I didn’t even question why I did it, it was just instinct – if I wasn’t good enough what did they have that made […]

Last Times

I saw an advert for the brand of washing powder I used when the children were babies the other day.  Out of nowhere, as if it was yesterday, I vividly remembered its smell and inhaling it as I held my children. I could see the damp washing as it tumbled out of the machine and feel its coolness on […]

WhatsUp?

Communication with E seems to have reached a new low recently.  It seems that he has now stopped replying to my emails.  He’s never answered a text and he refuses to speak to me, so email was pretty much the only way I could communicate with him about the kids and money.  Now he’s not responding […]

Old Normal

Watching Youngest Son watch the football the other night, made me realise two things; firstly how much has changed, secondly how little has changed, since E left us. Whilst the kids and I have experienced a seismic shift emotionally, and in terms of our family dynamic, the fact is that in terms of our environment […]

Fathers’ Day

It was Fathers’ Day on Sunday, and whilst the kids didn’t particularly lament the lack of their Dad (in fact none of them noticed  – Youngest Son only remembered because I asked him if he’d wished his Dad a Happy Father’s Day), it did make me reflect upon E’s role as a ‘father figure’. In […]