Whilst E’s withholding money in November (I’ve yet to see what his plans are for December) has caused me personal anguish, the financial stress and worry I’ve felt has been nothing compared to the effect this has had on the children. I’ve tried to not let them see how distressing I’ve found it personally, but, […]
Tag: stress
Bully
When I was 15, I was bullied by a group of about ten boys in my year. I was the new girl. They were a gang that (ridiculously), called themselves The Swarm. Their MO was to slowly approach and surround their target in the school playground, whilst slowly saying the word ‘swarm’. Once they’d done […]
Money
The children’s reactions to E’s decision to withhold payment of the money were varied. Apart from Oldest Daughter, I didn’t tell them what had happened for a week or so. To be honest, I was hoping that E had forgotten, or was just making a point before he paid the money. When it became clear […]
Karma
Karma has been mentioned a lot to me over the last two years or so. I think it reflects a desire we all have to see justice done, to see fairness applied, to see the good guys get their reward and the bad guys realise how wrong they are. Whilst I don’t think of myself […]
Swimming
Throughout everything that’s happened with E, one thing that has helped is the fact that I am, by nature, an optimist. I have always tried to find a way out of any negative situation (and I was in a fair few financial ones over the years with E), however, I must admit, after the last couple […]
Not Waving
I saw a picture on Facebook the other day. It was called ‘the two faces of depression’ and showed one face showing too much emotion and one face showing none at all. Whilst it obviously missed a lot of important stuff about depression, it rang a bell with me. Fortunately, most of the time, my […]
Ten Minutes
As I’ve already mentioned on here, I still struggle a bit on the days that E sees the boys. It has got easier as the months have gone on. But I still find myself feeling the contrast between what ‘was’ and what ‘is’ on Saturdays. When E first left, Saturday mornings were incredibly hard. Everyone […]
Pigeon
There’s a phrase I love about pointless arguments: “Never play chess with a pigeon: the pigeon just knocks all the pieces over, then shits all over the board, then struts around like it won.” Looking back on some of my recent communication with E, it seems strangely appropriate. These days communication between E and me […]
Grown Up
When we were children, I think we all had some idea in our heads of what being a Grown Up would be like. For me, aged about three, being a Grown Up involved lipstick and shoes with heels. Our expectations tend to change as we grow older and by the time I was five or […]
Fictions
Back in April, there was an interesting moment on twitter. A female user challenged women to describe themselves in the way they thought a male writer would portray them. There were some brilliant tweets. Here are a couple of my favourites: “Her breasts entered the room before her far less interesting face, decidedly maternal […]
He-total: Life without Ex 