If I’d struggled during Christmas 2016, because I knew about E’s affairs and I knew that we would have to split up, I was equally challenged, although for completely different reasons, by Christmas 2017. We’d faced down a whole year of ‘firsts’ as a family of five, not six, but Christmas was the big one. […]
Tag: marriage
Drill
This weekend was yet another one that was good for the soul. I spent it gardening, baking with Oldest Son and reading. It was also one, where, thanks largely to my garden, I began to reconsider what I was ‘good’ at and what I could and couldn’t do. I spent Saturday morning weeding, mowing the […]
Help
At the beginning of November, following numerous, increasingly distressed, emails from me, E had paid off the big loan I’d taken out for us the previous year and cleared most of the other debts (caused by the cost of the Singapore holiday and various things I’d had to pay out for on for the house […]
Softer
be softer with you you are a breathing thing a memory to someone a home to a life Nayyirah Waheed Never one to do things by halves, at the end of October 2017 I made the dramatic (and what now seems completely bloody mad) decision to give up alcohol for a whole year. The possibility […]
Happy
This year’s May Bank Holiday weekend marked something very special for me. In terms of what I did, there wasn’t anything particularly new, but in terms of how it felt, it was completely different. For the first time since E left, I felt that my family was entirely complete and very happy without him. E […]
Fallout
The fallout from Oldest Daughter’s discovery of P’s surname change was swift and emotional.After eight months of E-generated WTF moments, this was definitely the WTF-iest so far. Given E’s reticence on the matter, we just couldn’t fathom why P would change her name in such a public way. She must have known that E hadn’t […]
Single
The subject of if, how, and when I will ever end up dating, or even finding another partner, has become something of a running joke here at Team He Total HQ. Whilst the kids refuse to accept P as anything other than ‘Dad’s girlfriend’ (her legal designation as his wife and their stepmother is too […]
Opinions and Advice
Pretty much since the minute people found out what has happened with E, I have been the recipient of much advice and opinion. Most of it has been good, almost all of it has been sympathetic, but occasionally the comments I received were insensitive, rude or just downright bizarre. As the news about E and […]
Open Letter
I’ve said before that one of the most frustrating things about what’s happened to me, has been the loss of my voice. In lying to me and about me, in creating a version of me to justify his actions, E robbed me of the ability to defend myself and to tell my truth. I very […]
Married
As August headed into September, Oldest Daugher and I began to plan for what she’d need when she went up to University. The dining room table began to be heaped with ‘essentials’ – throw covers, cushions, tea light holders, vodka – there wasn’t a single book yet, but I was hoping that they’d soon follow. […]
He-total: Life without Ex 