I’ve had a few days this week where I’ve felt really down about everything. It’s so frustrating when these days hit – it’s bad enough what E did, but the fact that it’s still hurting and upsetting me 18 months on just feels unfair and makes me feel like I’m being self-indulgent – surely I […]
Tag: kids
Domestic Bliss
Over the years I have developed complex relationships with my domestic appliances. Sad as it may sound, to me, they’re not just machines they’re domestic companions (to whom I’m largely grateful – I wouldn’t like to attempt the laundry for six people by hand). Whilst they’ve broken down over the years (who wouldn’t, given the […]
WhatsUp?
Communication with E seems to have reached a new low recently. It seems that he has now stopped replying to my emails. He’s never answered a text and he refuses to speak to me, so email was pretty much the only way I could communicate with him about the kids and money. Now he’s not responding […]
Old Normal
Watching Youngest Son watch the football the other night, made me realise two things; firstly how much has changed, secondly how little has changed, since E left us. Whilst the kids and I have experienced a seismic shift emotionally, and in terms of our family dynamic, the fact is that in terms of our environment […]
The Beautiful Game
Another word cup season has rolled around and with it has come a host of memories. As well as the fact that England will probably go out on penalties, there is an additional sadness for me this time. Whilst I’m largely grateful for the fact that I’m barely registering the football this year, it’s not […]
Fathers’ Day
It was Fathers’ Day on Sunday, and whilst the kids didn’t particularly lament the lack of their Dad (in fact none of them noticed – Youngest Son only remembered because I asked him if he’d wished his Dad a Happy Father’s Day), it did make me reflect upon E’s role as a ‘father figure’. In […]
Weekend
Yesterday I went to my best friend of nearly 35 years parents’ house for a ‘goodbye’ do (she’s moving to the depths of beautiful Cornwall in a few weeks). We met in our first year of upper school in 1983, and we have been friends ever since. I felt quite tearful when I went to the […]
Fair
A couple of days ago, a friend at work asked me if I was writing this blog for E to read. My answer was a rather surprised ‘no’. There were a few reasons I started writing this blog. The first was to explore what had happened to me, to pull at strands of the tangled […]
Peace
I noticed today that I started this blog on 19th February 2018. By sheer coincidence this was the 10th anniversary of the day that I found out about E’s first affair. I didn’t deliberately choose the date, but it now seems strangely serendipitous that the date that everything started to fall apart ten years ago, […]
In his words
Today, I’m doing something I didn’t think I would ever do. I’m handing today’s blog over to E. I thought long and hard before doing this. After all, this blog is all about me finding MY voice and trying to give a voice to other people who have had their lives blighted by infidelity. The […]
He-total: Life without Ex 