Sometimes, being the Human Passenger piloted by my brain can be an exhausting experience. It’s a bit like being ruled by a hyperactive toddler who’s been fed sugar, caffeine and been given a kitten. When I was visiting Oldest Daughter in Durham, my train journey, that I’d hoped would be a quiet, peaceful few hours, was […]
Category: Uncategorized
Court
28th October 2019. My 50th birthday. I like birthdays. Especially mine. No matter how old I get, I always get that happy feeling on the morning of my birthday – a feeling that nice things will happen, there will be cake, and friends and good stuff. As a result, I’ve had some memorable birthdays. When […]
Groundhog Day
I now have a court date – in either a beautiful stroke of irony, or a perfect example of sod’s law, it’s been fixed for my 50th birthday. I guess, it will mark a new beginning, and a new freedom from E, whatever the court decides to do. However, my birthday is at the […]
notes and queries
I hesitated before posting this today, because the vast majority of people who surround me; my family, my friends and the readers of this blog, are amazing and supportive and utterly brilliant and this post doesn’t apply to them. It’s just that, sometimes, just sometimes, over the last couple of years I’ve encountered unsolicited opinions and […]
Attrition
“Attrition warfare is a military strategy consisting of belligerent attempts to win a war by wearing down the enemy to the point of collapse through continuous losses in personnel and material. The war will usually be won by the side with greater such resources.” It’s now approaching five months since E communicated with me at […]
Spite and Malice
“Spite and Malice, also known as Cat and Mouse, is a traditional card game for two or more players. It is a form of competitive solitaire with a number of variations that can be played with two or three regular decks of cards.” The film The Wars of The Roses was the first time I thought of divorce as a […]
A day in the life
Even though I’m constantly aware of what’s coming if E keeps withholding child maintenance, it doesn’t actually dominate my life – there’s no room for it to. Generally, my life is not just ‘carrying on’, most days it’s enjoyable, funny and rewarding – although nothing ever goes quite to plan. Whilst I’d love to live […]
Nero
Like most children, when I was little I was irrationally scared of ‘monsters’. My personal demons were the monster under the bed, the Cybermen, the Sandman (horrific concept), and (bizarre, I know) the Roman Emperor Nero I can’t remember how I learned about Nero – it may well have been because I was aware of […]
Dishes
All of a sudden, in the weeks running up to Christmas, Oldest Son seemed to reach Peak Teen. My mild mannered, quietly sardonic son became slightly moody, his amusingly sarcastic comments became increasingly biting and his usual amused patience with me and his siblings was replaced with an increasingly bemused irritation. It was bound to […]
Fix you
Ever since everything happened with E, one of the things I have tried to do, some days with more success than others, is balance being honest with the children about what is happening, with protecting them as much as possible from hurt. I think I’ve got better at it as time has gone on. In […]
He-total: Life without Ex 