Soft Focus

The picture Youngest Son had found was E’s updated WhatsApp profile picture. It was a wedding photograph.  It’s a sideways on shot of P (in one of her two wedding dresses), puckering up to E in some sort of tropical cabana.  You can’t really see their faces, it’s all soft focus and gentle waves and […]

Bar

Today I’m handing part of the blog over to one of Oldest Daughter’s best friends – C.  They have been friends for most of their lives and C is one of the friends that has been by Oldest Daughter’s side throughout everything she’s been though as a result of E’s leaving.  C, along with a […]

Giving Up

E’s response, or lack thereof, to what had happened with Youngest Daughter was pretty much the final nail in the coffin of my perception of him.  Until that point, I’d still sort of hoped he was a decent person who was acting out of character (an otherwise good man who was a bit of a […]

Photograph

On the morning of our first full day in Singapore, I made E and I a cup of coffee each.  We had no cups and no milk, just wine glasses and a couple of half-pint tankard-style glasses (coffee, wine and beer – I always have been all about the priorities).  I poured our coffee into […]

First Christmas

If I’d struggled during Christmas 2016, because I knew about E’s affairs and I knew that we would have to split up, I was equally challenged, although for completely different reasons, by Christmas 2017. We’d faced down a whole year of ‘firsts’ as a family of five, not six, but Christmas was the big one.  […]

Drill

This weekend was yet another one that was good for the soul.  I spent it gardening, baking with Oldest Son and reading.  It was also one, where, thanks largely to my garden, I began to reconsider what I was ‘good’ at and what I could and couldn’t do. I spent Saturday morning weeding, mowing the […]

Help

At the beginning of November, following numerous, increasingly distressed, emails from me, E had paid off the big loan I’d taken out for us the previous year and cleared most of the other debts (caused by the cost of the Singapore holiday and various things I’d had to pay out for on for the house […]

Rose Petal Perfume

When my sister and I were little we used to make perfume out of rose petals. We’d carefully pick the petals and mix them with cold water in plastic teacups.  In my head, we’d made a beautiful thing, although in actuality, our perfume was just muddy water with slimy bits of rose petal gloomily sinking […]

Softer

be softer with you you are a breathing thing a memory to someone a home to a life Nayyirah Waheed Never one to do things by halves, at the end of October 2017 I made the dramatic (and what now seems completely bloody mad) decision to give up alcohol for a whole year.  The possibility […]

Fallout

The fallout from Oldest Daughter’s discovery of P’s surname change was swift and emotional.After eight months of E-generated WTF moments, this was definitely the WTF-iest so far.  Given E’s reticence on the matter, we just couldn’t fathom why P would change her name in such a public way.  She must have known that E hadn’t […]