The subject of if, how, and when I will ever end up dating, or even finding another partner, has become something of a running joke here at Team He Total HQ. Whilst the kids refuse to accept P as anything other than ‘Dad’s girlfriend’ (her legal designation as his wife and their stepmother is too […]
Tag: middleage
Opinions and Advice
Pretty much since the minute people found out what has happened with E, I have been the recipient of much advice and opinion. Most of it has been good, almost all of it has been sympathetic, but occasionally the comments I received were insensitive, rude or just downright bizarre. As the news about E and […]
Open Letter
I’ve said before that one of the most frustrating things about what’s happened to me, has been the loss of my voice. In lying to me and about me, in creating a version of me to justify his actions, E robbed me of the ability to defend myself and to tell my truth. I very […]
Married
As August headed into September, Oldest Daugher and I began to plan for what she’d need when she went up to University. The dining room table began to be heaped with ‘essentials’ – throw covers, cushions, tea light holders, vodka – there wasn’t a single book yet, but I was hoping that they’d soon follow. […]
Results
Just two days after we got back from Singapore was Oldest Daughter’s A Level results day. I’m not sure who was more nervous about this – me or Oldest Daughter. She was nervous because she needed good grades to get into Durham University (she wanted to read Philosophy there). I was nervous because I knew […]
Singapore
I know that I’ve made much in this blog about how much I resent E for not just being honest and leaving for good in 2008. However, there is one thing that takes the edge off that pain. There is one thing that would never have happened if he had left – Singapore. In 2010, […]
Clouds
As May and June headed towards July, I began to feel that life was calming down and brightening up a bit – albeit with the odd cloud darkening our days every now and then. At the end of May, after I’d spent the best part of five months asking E to tell his parents what had […]
A foreign country
“The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there.” – L P Hartley, The Go Between Yesterday I finally did something that I haven’t been able to face doing since E left. I started re-reading the letters and emails that I had found (and I had written myself) when I discovered E’s first […]
Facebook Fail
After Spanx Night, I steered clear of the booze for a few weeks. I also avoided going out, in fact, I don’t think I left the house in the evening until we went on holiday in July. To be honest, I was (still am) finding being in company quite difficult, so I retreated behind my […]
Broken?
Kintsugi – the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. It treats breakage and repair as part of an object, rather than something to disguise, hide or dispose of. I was recently watching a presentation about the dangers of radicalisation by extremists in schools, colleges and universities. The presenter […]
He-total: Life without Ex 