When Oldest Daughter was 18 months old, she came down with a nasty bout of gastro-enteritis. Literally everything she ate went straight through her, causing her huge distress (and causing me a huge amount of washing and carpet cleaning). The best treatment for this was just to give her minimal, very plain, food and lots […]
Tag: anxiety
Swimming
Throughout everything that’s happened with E, one thing that has helped is the fact that I am, by nature, an optimist. I have always tried to find a way out of any negative situation (and I was in a fair few financial ones over the years with E), however, I must admit, after the last couple […]
Not Waving
I saw a picture on Facebook the other day. It was called ‘the two faces of depression’ and showed one face showing too much emotion and one face showing none at all. Whilst it obviously missed a lot of important stuff about depression, it rang a bell with me. Fortunately, most of the time, my […]
Spots
In the midst of the emotional whirlwind following Youngest Daughter’s GCSE results, I was pleasantly surprised to get an email from E asking how she’d got on. I don’t know why I was surprised. I know he pretty much ignores every email I send him, but this is his daughter, so surely this was exactly […]
Losing
When your partner leaves you for another woman, you’re inevitably seen as the ‘loser’. No matter how many people tell you that you’re ‘better off without him’ or that he’s ‘made a mistake he’ll regret’, that it’s ‘his loss’, or even that his new relationship ‘will never last’, the simple fact of the matter is that, […]
Ten Minutes
As I’ve already mentioned on here, I still struggle a bit on the days that E sees the boys. It has got easier as the months have gone on. But I still find myself feeling the contrast between what ‘was’ and what ‘is’ on Saturdays. When E first left, Saturday mornings were incredibly hard. Everyone […]
Pigeon
There’s a phrase I love about pointless arguments: “Never play chess with a pigeon: the pigeon just knocks all the pieces over, then shits all over the board, then struts around like it won.” Looking back on some of my recent communication with E, it seems strangely appropriate. These days communication between E and me […]
Holiday
We’re now nearly two weeks into the school summer holidays and I’m already losing track of what day it is School summer holidays always assume a comforting, steady rhythm. I’ve never filled the days with endless activities, for us the school holidays have always about being lazy, not getting up on time, and just enjoying […]
End of Term Report
Last Friday marked the end of the first whole school year that the kids and I have done on our own. Looking back, I’m incredibly proud of my little gang. This time last year we were still struggling in the wake of E’s leaving and trying to get used to being a family of five […]
Bad Day
I’ve had a few days this week where I’ve felt really down about everything. It’s so frustrating when these days hit – it’s bad enough what E did, but the fact that it’s still hurting and upsetting me 18 months on just feels unfair and makes me feel like I’m being self-indulgent – surely I […]
He-total: Life without Ex 