I saw a picture on Facebook the other day. It was called ‘the two faces of depression’ and showed one face showing too much emotion and one face showing none at all. Whilst it obviously missed a lot of important stuff about depression, it rang a bell with me. Fortunately, most of the time, my […]
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Spots
In the midst of the emotional whirlwind following Youngest Daughter’s GCSE results, I was pleasantly surprised to get an email from E asking how she’d got on. I don’t know why I was surprised. I know he pretty much ignores every email I send him, but this is his daughter, so surely this was exactly […]
Losing
When your partner leaves you for another woman, you’re inevitably seen as the ‘loser’. No matter how many people tell you that you’re ‘better off without him’ or that he’s ‘made a mistake he’ll regret’, that it’s ‘his loss’, or even that his new relationship ‘will never last’, the simple fact of the matter is that, […]
Honourable
E believes he is an honourable man. Don’t laugh. He really does. In the meantime, the rest of us are still struggling to reconcile the person we thought E was, with the person that the evidence is beginning to prove he actually is. There was the E I thought I was with for 25 years. […]
Ten Minutes
As I’ve already mentioned on here, I still struggle a bit on the days that E sees the boys. It has got easier as the months have gone on. But I still find myself feeling the contrast between what ‘was’ and what ‘is’ on Saturdays. When E first left, Saturday mornings were incredibly hard. Everyone […]
Stubborn
I found out I was pregnant with Youngest Daughter on 10th September 2001. The next day, as I watched those planes slam into the twin towers, and consoled Oldest Daughter who was just staring at the TV saying ‘Mummy, a Bad Thing, has happened’, I wondered what kind of a world I was bringing a […]
Pigeon
There’s a phrase I love about pointless arguments: “Never play chess with a pigeon: the pigeon just knocks all the pieces over, then shits all over the board, then struts around like it won.” Looking back on some of my recent communication with E, it seems strangely appropriate. These days communication between E and me […]
Bud – life lessons from a cat
A flippant exchange with Youngest Son this summer, over who was responsible for making lunch – where I suggested that he was perfectly capable of making himself a sandwich, and he replied, with a florid wink, and an ever-cautious readiness to run, that that, as his Mum, that was my job – made me ponder […]
Missing
I’ve spent a lot of time in this blog (and in general) celebrating how much better off I am without E. When we first split up, I was amazed by the number of people who thought that I might take him back. I think this was probably because so few people knew that E had […]
Holiday
We’re now nearly two weeks into the school summer holidays and I’m already losing track of what day it is School summer holidays always assume a comforting, steady rhythm. I’ve never filled the days with endless activities, for us the school holidays have always about being lazy, not getting up on time, and just enjoying […]
He-total: Life without Ex 