July 2020 was a month in which everything in my life changed. By the end of July, I had moved to a new house, and started a whole new life. By the end of July, my priorities had shifted forever. By the end of July, my beautiful Mum, my anchor, my safety, the person my […]
Category: Child Maintenance Service
Pandemic
We’re all now aware of and experiencing the effects of the Covid 19 pandemic, but one thing that we’re increasingly warned of these days is another growing, but silent, problem that’s slowly, but surely creeping upon us as a result of the lockdowns, the social deprivations and the changes to our daily routines – a […]
Lowering the bar
Oldest Daughter once said with a sad sigh: “just when I think Dad can’t lower the bar anymore, he manages to crawl under it”. Since she said this, he’s managed to crawl under a fair few more of his lowered bars. In fact, I could have been forgiven for thinking his bar was finally at […]
Child
It was inevitable I suppose. It was what I’d been expecting since I found out that E and P had married. I expected it to feel like a punch to the guts. But when I was told that E and P were expecting a baby, I just laughed. The circumstances under which I found out, […]
Wall
They say in marathon running that there is a point (usually at around 2/3 of the way through) where you ‘hit the wall’ and that in order to complete it you need to keep running – runners do it by pacing themselves, taking on nutrition and making a huge mental effort – mind over matter. […]
An open letter to E
Dear E I’m not sure why I’m writing this. I don’t think it will achieve anything. In fact, if anything, it will feed into whatever narrative you’ve created to justify your behaviour and make you the hero of your story (or the victim of mine). I spent 25 years listening to you describe the people […]
Leaving
Pretty much from the moment Youngest Daughter found out she was expecting a baby, she began thinking about creating a home for her, her baby and her partner. Obviously, as they are so young, we knew this would be difficult, and I offered them my home for as long as they needed it. This all […]
Brain
Sometimes, being the Human Passenger piloted by my brain can be an exhausting experience. It’s a bit like being ruled by a hyperactive toddler who’s been fed sugar, caffeine and been given a kitten. When I was visiting Oldest Daughter in Durham, my train journey, that I’d hoped would be a quiet, peaceful few hours, was […]
Court
28th October 2019. My 50th birthday. I like birthdays. Especially mine. No matter how old I get, I always get that happy feeling on the morning of my birthday – a feeling that nice things will happen, there will be cake, and friends and good stuff. As a result, I’ve had some memorable birthdays. When […]
Tired
Apologies, in advance, for this post. I usually try to keep my posts upbeat, but I must admit I have been struggling recently. Most days I can pick myself up and get on with things (my daily mantra is ‘just keep going’), but recently there have been more and more days when I just want […]
He-total: Life without Ex 