I needed a job. This was probably one of the most absolutely daunting things I had to face in the aftermath of E leaving. It also stung a bit because, from her LinkedIn profile (the kids were regular stalkers), it looked like P had just found a brand new job of her own – in […]
Tag: middleage
Grandma
As I’ve said several times, I am hugely lucky to have the most incredible family and friends. I’ve never been so conscious of this as I was in those first few weeks of January 2017. Whilst everything was happening with E, as they have been for my my entire life, my Mum, Dad and sister […]
Gone
The next day was the day we’d agreed that E would get his stuff from the house. I’d booked the kids and I into our favourite restaurant for lunch. I’d told them what was happening and none of them wanted to see him, so off we all went. Whilst we were having lunch, I had […]
The New Normal
Of course, as soon as I’d told the kids that their Dad had met someone else (and had in fact had met several someone elses over the years), the room was gradually flooded with questions and observations from all four of them. Initially there was hurt, confusion and more silence as they tried to articulate […]
Why?
Oldest Son has always been one for a searching question. The calmest, and stillest (and yet also the biggest wind-up merchant) of my children, he thinks deeply and in great detail. His head is always whirling with questions – especially very late in the evening. When he was little my most frequent words to him […]
End Game
That was it. Tuesday night was the last night that E ever spent in our home. That was it. Wednesday morning was the last morning he would ever say goodbye to the kids before they went to school. That was it. Oldest Daughter took one look at my face that afternoon and realised it was […]
Silence
After Christmas and New Year, we had reached a kind of impasse. On the occasions he was home, E barely spoke to me. I was just unable to say anything at all. I don’t know how (and if we ever work it out, I’m sure the kids would pay good money for the secret), but […]
Last Christmas
I wish I could tell you accurately what I said, and what E said, but, by the time I’d summoned up the courage to tell E what I knew, I was drunk. I wouldn’t recommend tackling it the way I did – I was sobbing, stuff just tumbled out. In my defence, the state I […]
Panic
Oldest Daughter was amazing. I told her the truth about what I’d found. She told me that her Dad’s first affair was one of her oldest memories. I explained that after what had happened that I couldn’t see how I could trust him again or how we could stay together, but that I wanted to […]
Guilt
“Mum… Can I ask you something? Is Dad having another affair?” Oldest Daughter was pale, her face was haunted. I was momentarily stunned. I had no idea that she remembered the first affair. She’d been only-just eight at the time. I didn’t know that she remembered. I knew that at the time I’d been honest […]
He-total: Life without Ex 